Planet Numbers Vow To Help Failing Businesses

The business world is collapsing around the civilians of this country as one of the largest banks in the world, Lehman Brothers, declares itself bankrupt. The bank, who were more than $613 billion in debt, filed for bankruptcy after attempts to rescue it from liquidation had been thwarted.

Times are looking grim for the economy at present but is there any possible solution to this crisis?

There once was a time when the streets were awash with corner shops and little family run businesses. Places where your custom was valued, appreciated and deserved. Places that ensured that when you purchased something from the shop, be it a suit, a bun from the bakers or even your laundry at the launderette, you knew that you would get quality customer service and products built with care, precision and effort. Although the films portray it as a time of black and white it seems it was a far more colourful place than the world we live in today. Today, as you walk through your local Tesco or HMV, you are greeted with zombie-like grunt by the characterless, money driven staff that inhabit our convenience stores.

So why do we shop there? Why do we give our custom to the big companies who monopolise the streets with the giant chain markets?

I walked into my local Tesco this weekend looking to buy a bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup. The monotonic beep of the checkouts imitating the robots these staff aspire to be pierce my ears as I begin my vain attempt to find my item. The towering aisles offering to help my with my search, vaguely pointing me in the right direction. When I find it and take it to the checkout staff who looks the least like Shrek, I'm greeted by the much practiced fake smile as they take my £1.94 and force the receipt into my hands. I begin to l... Wait... £1.94? I check the receipt and sure enough, the 'robot' had been experiencing technical difficulties. I had been charged twice. I was furious, my face redder than the tomato ketchup I had just purchased. I stormed up to the checkout as the plastic smile of the operator tried to calm me down. 'Is there a problem?' Said the girl, spitting at me through her braces. I glanced at her name badge. What a strange name. 'Well, Melanie HERETOHELP.' I seethed. 'If that IS your real name. It seems you have charged me twice.' I could tell she was thinking hard to remember her training.'

- Smile
- Sympathise with customer
- Sort the problem out accordingly.

'I'm going to have to get my supervisooooooooooooo...oooo...oooor.' she said, holding the end of the sentence for far too long.

After about 10 minutes of watching this young girl being trained by a lady who was clearly heavily pregnant, bringing the total of braincells in that body to two. I finally received my change and left very dissatisfied. My fish fingers, chips and ketchup meal that night was rather soured.

How much would you pay for a smile? For good customer service? What is an extra 20p to brighten up your shopping experience? It's places like Tesco that are the reasons why you see boarded up shops and the average man's dream of starting his own business slowly fade down the drain.

Planet Numbers do everything in their power to help these businesses. They offer memorable and unique business telephone numbers to help these floundering companies generate extra business and gain extra income. Having a memorable and unique non-geographical telephone number makes it much easier for customers to call because 0845 numbers, 0800 numbers, 0844 and 03 numbers can be remembered off the top of their head.

Soon, Planet Numbers could be savior of hundred of businesses around the country.

Why XL Went Bust...

THOUSANDS OF holiday makers were stranded this weekend after the UK's third largest package holiday group went bust. With another 200,000 advance bookings grounded, Planet Numbers ran an investigation asking why all these holiday makers' breaks were ruined.

The sun is shining, you've reserved your sunbed by the pool and you've got your drink from the poolside bar as you rub a little bit more sun tan lotion on your already sun kissed back. For many, this sounds like bliss but one family we spoke to just couldn't wait to get home.

The Henderson family from Brighton booked their holiday to Majorca in February 2007 using XL's package deal. 'We had been saving up for around a year.' said Keith Henderson, a newspaper distributor from Kent. 'The kids were so excited and the journey to Majorca went without a hitch. The hotel was clean and very reasonable and the food was fantastic. However, after we had packed our bags ready to come home we discovered that XL had gone out of business which meant we were stranded.' At this point Keith Henderson had to leave the room as he struggled to keep back the tears. When he returned several minutes later he said. 'We had to stay in sunny Majorca for, we were told, at least another 3 days. There's only so much amazing food, beautiful weather and pure bliss and relaxation one can take. We just couldn't wait to get back to cloudy, dull England.'
Planet Numbers understands that one of the Henderson children has consequently put on half a pound of weight due to the delicious food and the mother is slightly sunburnt.

Could this have been avoided? Could XL have been saved from administration? Could poor little Billy Henderson be that half a pound lighter and avoided the inevitable bullying? Planet Numbers says yes.

A recent article, written by the talented Alex Deutsch, noted how Planet Numbers were saving businesses by offering them memorable and unique non geographical telephone numbers. '0845 Numbers, 0844 numbers, 0800 numbers and 03 numbers are the most profitable thing you could possibly buy for your business. Unless you own an airline, in which case it's probably aeroplanes. Although we do suggest putting your memorable and unique telephone number on the side of the aircraft to generate extra interest.' said the office administrator for Planet Numbers 'By buying a memorable and unique 0845 Numbers, 0844, 0800 and 03 number your customers will be able to call your company easily meaning extra income for you!'
Planet Numbers has very kindly offered to lend CAA their rocket, seen in the the Planet Numbers logo, to go return all the stranded holiday makers to their homes. The rocket, which holds 3 people at a time and can only fly upwards, is thought to take around 36 light years to get to the desired location and back. The CAA suggest you walk.

Air We Go!

BOURNEMOUTH, THE CALM and tranquil seaside town, felt like Heathrow airport this weekend. Planes worth as much as £52million took off from the comparative model village airport, Hurn, as the much anticipated Air festival got underway. However, as exciting as the aeroplanes were, the plane fanatic's eyes were diverted to something quite unexpected as Planet Numbers offer 0845 numbers with no incoming call charges.

As the sun peeked through the ever-collecting clouds to catch a glimpse of the sensational aircrafts that majestically circled the town, like bees circling the honey comb, something else special was happening not far from the seafront. In a small office, just off the town centre, seven individuals were working hard to offer the world 0844 Numbers telephone numbers. Planet Numbers, who are keen Red Arrows fans, worked tirelessly to deal with the huge demand of the non-geographical numbers while the stunning show was taking place.

'We're offering customers highly memorable 0844 Numbers for their businesses because by having a highly memorable and unique telephone number businesses are much more likely to receive telephone calls therefore more custom.' Said the very excitable John Kenward who had to be restrained from running to the window every time he heard the sound of a plane. 'We know that the RAF have already caught wind of this great initiative by having their very own 0844 Numbers and urge other businesses to do the same.'

Planet Numbers would like to remind people that there are thousands of non-geographic telephone numbers to chose from and to ask them not to panic as there are enough for everyone. This statement comes after the riot that came in July 2008 where as many as three business men stampeded through the town of Bournemouth as they raced for non-geographic telephone numbers. This unfortunate event resulted in three snails being killed, one snail's shell severely damaged and one is now a slug.


*Tributes are now being held for the three snails tragically lost that day at All Saints church, Southbourne. The parents of the snails ask that you don't bring any flowers, as they will be eaten, but to donate whatever you can to Shell Research - the foundation for fixing broken shells. All are invited.*